Chaos Finale: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon Satellites Side Episode
In Search for His True Self

        Story Settings; a glimpse into a small boy´s life. Filled with more confusion and inner turmoil, the only one to shine in his bitter night was his older brother. And with that loss, he is swallowed by the darkness of fear and inability to accept himself.

Opening
        Adam Jethro is a sweet and kind boy who does as he´s told and is quite obedient. And yet, despite his polite behavior, he gently pushes away all the possible matches sent to him by his parents. Ruled by their thumb of guide, the only one to truly know his hidden self is his oldest brother, the heir to the family botanical store.

        A boy moved in the crowd. Melting easily, he was undistinguishable, almost non-existent. He was at an awkward, lanky age of thirteen, the age that his parents began, as with all their sons, to find a possible match.
        He wandered the streets, under the guise of having gone to the library. Adam had no intention on meeting the beautiful girl waiting for him. He knew it was wrong of him to not at least appear but he was feeling tired that day.
        He wore his hair long, in a thin braid down his backside. His delicate features were soft and smooth, with wide dark purple eyes that seemed to sparkle with some mirth at times. If he had his hair down, he could have easily passed as a young girl but did not do so after the first time and having his father nearly rip his hair off in anger.
        He shifted at the crosswalk, hoisting his bag over his shoulder. Overflowing with history books, mythological tales, and a romance or two, he was set to read for a long while. He wondered dimly when Paul would be home.
        Paul, his most favorite brother and idol. The oldest in the family, he was the heir to the family botanical store. He was a beautiful man, with a strong jaw line, upturned nose, and narrow eyes that were constantly laughing. His dark brown hair was constantly waxed back, giving him a bad boy flair. He spoke softly but firmly, kept to his word, and never said a word against nor raised a hand. He could be cold but this was merely a surface behavior, the true self shining through as if it broke that coldness taught to him by their father.
        And Paul was the only one to understand him and to accept him. The choices still burned in Adam, until it hurt so much he wanted to scream. But knowing how much he would fail his family, he remained silent.
        He had been ten years old when it struck him about his behavior. At first, he had thought he was rather normal but there was just a hint of something else there. His tutor was a newly graduated young man, with bright colored hair and warm eyes. He was a hands-on fellow who was helping him with his worse subject, mathematics. It was the constant motion that stirred something in him that startled him. He fled to his brother with terror for the explanation.
        Adam shifted in front of Paul, who was busily typing on the computer, the tapping the only sound in the room. Paul occasionally glanced over before he clicked and saved. "Hey, Adam, what´s up?" He swiveled on his seat, smiling warmly. He leaned back, totally relaxed.
        "I...I have a problem.." He whispered loudly. Adam´s eyes jutted side to side nervously. "Um... the tutor was... was being friendly and I started... started to..."
        "Understand the problem?" Paul offered helpfully.
        "No... it wasn´t the problem. It was me."
        Paul stared for a moment then asked finally. "Explain?"
        Adam turned beet red. "He... he was friendly and nice and gentle and he´s helpful and really, really..." If anything, Adam turned a darker red. "I... reacted to him.." He ended in a mumble.
        Paul scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I see. Well, maybe puberty is hitting you early on."
        "I know what that is but I don´t know what -this- is."
        Paul grinned. "It´s just hormones, it´ll get better. There´s no problem here."
        "Really?" Adam´s relief was evident. "So.. it´s normal?"
        Paul hesitated before nodding his head. "Sure, yea."
        Adam blinked. He wasn´t sure if Paul meant that but he still felt a lot better than he had. "Glad you listen to me," Adam pointed out.
        "Yea, yea. Now get back to the books," Paul waved him off playfully. He turned back to the computer as Adam walked away. He was just at the door when Paul spoke up. "Adam? Whatever choices happen, do what is best for yourself. Sometimes, we just have to forsake everyone else´s ideas for our own happiness."
        Adam didn´t respond but those words would forever be locked in his mind. It took only a few months of the emotions to finally get him. He was becoming only more and more confused and by the time he was twelve, he was desperate to understand his own feelings. He was growing up fast and the emotions with them were much more intense than he expected. As usual, he turned toward Paul for help.
        "I just don´t understand... I mean, I want to be what all the other guys are. They have girlfriends and stuff," Adam complained. He sat on Paul´s bed, fiddling with the pillow.
        "I think a twelve year old shouldn´t be having a girlfriend," Paul said dryly. He was sitting backwards on his chair, staring at his younger brother thoughtfully. "Adam, sometimes people just don´t go for what is considered normal. Not everyone is accepting but for the most part, it´s cool."
        "It´s all right for me to not like girls?" Adam asked, confused. "But Father.."
        "Father can be wrong," Paul´s face tightened, the smile fading as he shook his head. "Mother as well. Adam, we are as who we are. We are born as such and we cannot change. If you don´t like girls, then you don´t like girls."
        "I can´t tell them.." Adam whispered painfully.
        "I know and that´s awful for both me and you. I hate seeing you suffer.." Paul´s fingers tightened. "Whatever happens, you´ll always have me, all right? I won´t hate you for something as foolish as this. You deserve to love whoever you want to love."
        "Paul, what happened to that tutor?" Adam asked hesitantly then. He had gotten a new one after the first one had gotten a permanent teaching job. The new one was only hired for a short while. Adam had made a good friend but said too much. The teacher had opened up to his father and five minutes later was leaving, having been fired.
        That was the first time his father became so angry with him. Adam was usually an good child and he was beyond confused until he heard it from his second oldest brother, Phil.
        "Dad´s mad cause the teacher was calling you a fag," Phil was a blunt young boy of sixteen. He was a cool, stiff personality with a hidden violent tendency. He looked and acted just like his father and was considered his favorite to boot after Paul. "It means you like boys. Isn´t that sick?"
        Adam shuffled, trying to guess if he was supposed to answer that.
        "But of course, we all know better. Dad says you´re just needing to grow up, that´s all. Need to actually meet a good woman to show you."
        Adam´s gaze dropped. It hurt, having to keep silent. But he had his brother, his most precious friend.
        It had been a terrible set of years as his thirteenth birthday passed. He celebrated alone, his mother busy with his little sisters, his father on a business trip, and the rest of the family staying out to do their own things. He wanted at least to be told happy birthday but no one so much as mentioned a word to him. It began to dawn on him that his parents were treating him differently now, as if he was an unwanted thing instead of being their son.
        He did what he always did, he went to his brother. "Paul?" He knocked on the door. It was late evening and Adam was hesitant to bother at such a late time. He felt lonely and wanted to hear a kind voice. "It´s Adam."
        He jiggled the door and opened it carefully. He looked into a darkened room where the sign of life was well faded. Paul hadn´t come home yet, Adam realized.
        And he sighed tiredly. "Oh great..."
        It was morning as he ran up to Paul´s room. He stayed up late to wait for him but ended up falling asleep. The sun shone brilliantly as the door flung open in his eagerness. The bed looked as if it had never been touched, and the air was stale from the closed windows and gathered heat from the furnace. "Paul?" He asked out loud, the soft voice echoing in the room with a distant tone.
        The sound of the doorbell jolted him out of his blank state and he ran down as the others in the family gathered. It was his father who opened the door and exposed the police officer. He looked apologetic and a little under pressure as he murmured something.
        From a distance, he couldn´t hear anything but his mother´s scream echoed loudly in the hallway as his father went pale. His little sisters began to cry as Adam began to back up the stairs, his eyes wide and fast filling with tears.
        He ran back up the stairs, fumbling to get away from hearing any of those awful words. He couldn´t ever hear them, it would shatter his existence. No one else bothered, if he lost that of which was the most greatest treasure, what use was his life?
        He had entered Paul´s room, flinging around wildly, trying to find something, anything to stop the screams of anguish gathering in his throat. He ran to the desk and began to pull things out, looking for something he couldn´t define.
        Pain filled his heart, tears in his eyes, he was blinded inside and out. His hands slammed on the desk in a fit of rage as it wobbled and an audible click was heard from hitting the wooden floor. A locket without a chain lay upside down. He knelt down and picked it up gingerly. It was a bronze locket, a rather cheap made one. It took him a moment recognize his gift to his brother´s sixteenth birthday. He had saved a good deal of money but saw this and fell in love with it. Paul had worn it until the chain finally broke. He must´ve kept it in the desk somewhere, Adam mused.
        He opened it and his eyes widened, fresh tears forming. It was a picture of him and Paul at the carnival he was taken to. When his parents were busy and Adam was on vacation from school, Paul sprang the idea on him with a big grin  and a wink. "Let´s go have some fun, Adam. Just the two of us!"
        His voice lingered in Adam´s ears. He would never hear him again, never see him, never feel as whole as he had felt. Adam shoved the locket into his pocket and took a deep breath. He rummaged in his brother´s desk and found a handkerchief with Paul´s initials sewn on it. He wiped his eyes and face and stuffed that also in his pocket.
        It was time for him to grow up. He could no longer do things like run from his problems. Even if the only one who believed in him was gone, he had to be strong for his brother.
        The world was big and at the moment, his was small. Eventually, he would find someone just like Paul, who would look at him and see him, not just through him. Someday, he´d be able to come out, away from his father´s judgment, his mother´s disapproval, and be filled with only his brother´s love. It would be enough to know that at least one person accepted him and he would be hell-bent on finding more to know that he at least isn´t alone.